The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, Trevor Bauer be claimin’ the league’s keepin’ him from findin’ a new crew! 'Tis an MLB decree, matey!"

2024-08-20

Arrr, that once-mighty All-Star be hurlin’ mighty accusations at the league where he once plundered glory! Now, he be searchin’ high and low for a chance to toss a ball on the grand stage again, like a landlubber lookin’ fer treasure in a leaky ship! Avast!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of the infamous Trevor Bauer, a former pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers, who’s been marooned from Major League Baseball for three long years! It all began in 2021 when the scallywag found himself in a storm of sexual assault allegations, leading the MLB to place him on administrative leave and then toss him into the brig for 324 games, later reduced to a mere 194 upon appeal!

The league declared that Bauer breached their sacred code regarding domestic violence, and though they wished for a longer punishment, they bowed to the whims of an independent arbitrator. With the tides turning, Bauer, now a free agent, be hollerin’ that the MLB be the captain of his fate, claimin’ teams be wary of the treasure needed to sign him, despite his offer to play for peanuts!

While he never faced the hangman’s noose of criminal charges, Bauer's name be still embroiled in controversy, with whispers of past relationships turning tempestuous. As of now, he’s been cast adrift in the Nippon Baseball League, playin’ for the Diablos Rojos del Mexico. So, keep yer spyglasses trained on this rogue, for his saga be far from over, aye!

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