Arrr, Kirk Cousins be strippin' his backside fer burgers, hopin' to dodge more mischief from his torn Achilles!
2024-08-21
Arrr! Kirk Cousins be tellin' tales o' peel'n burger buns like a scallywag! He don’t even munch 'em anymore, claimin' it be for the sake o' avoidin' that pesky gluten, said to keep his bones from breakin' like a ship in a stormy sea! Har har!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of a quarterback named Kirk Cousins, settin’ sail into his thirteenth season in the grand NFL seas at the ripe age of 36. While most lads be feastin’ on hearty fare, this scallywag eschews bun and bread, claimin’ his own peculiar diet of peeled burger buns! Aye! He be holdin’ ‘em for show, but tossin’ ‘em aside whilst munchin’ on the meaty treasure beneath!In a quest to avoid the treacherous gluten, Cousins joins the ranks of other famed pirates o’ the field, like Tom Brady and Drew Brees. But lo and behold! Cousins be takin’ it a step further, banishin’ not just gluten, but all grains from his plate, like a true dietary buccaneer! This drastic change came after a fateful injury, where he tore his Achilles, and now he’s lookin’ to keep his shipshape as he dons the colors of the Atlanta Falcons.
With a hefty bounty of $180 million in hand, Cousins be under the watchful eye of new mates and rivals alike. So, he’s inspectin’ every morsel that crosses his lips, hopin’ to dodge any further injuries, as he sails into the rough waters of competition. Aye, as he spirals into his late thirties, the humble burger bun be but a small price to pay for glory on the field!