Arrr! DHS scallywags be flappin’ their jaws 'bout lost wee ones! Where be me compass when ye need it?
2024-08-22
Arrr matey! The scallywags o' Homeland Security be reportin' a right urgent matter! It seems the immigration buccaneers be losin’ track o' over 32,000 wee lads and lasses that wandered off after bein' held in the brig. Blimey, even a parrot could do better!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather ye round, fer I be bringin’ ye tidings from the landlubber shores of the Department of Homeland Security! Their trusty watchdog, a keen-eyed sea dog, hath spotted a mighty urgent issue with how the buccaneers of immigration be dealin’ with unaccompanied young scallywags, those wee migrant children adrift in the tempest of bureaucracy!A report, as fresh as a morning breeze, be blowin’ into Congress’s ear, revealin’ that the fine folks at the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency be losin’ track of over 32,000 wee ones released from their clutches! Aye, that be more lost lads and lassies than there be stars in the night sky!
In these last five years, it seems the officials be havin’ a harder time keepin’ tabs on these little rascals than a crew on a three-day shore leave! The watchdog be warnin’ that this be a matter most urgent, for every unaccompanied minor runnin’ amok could lead to more troubles than a cannonball at a tea party! So, ye landlubbers in charge, best tighten yer ropes and set a course to fix this ship before it sinks into the depths of chaos!