The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye! The landlubber authorities be misplacing 30,000 wee scallywags! Where’s me eye patch? I can’t see 'em!

2024-08-22

Arrr, matey! A scallywag audit from the Homeland Sec’rities be revealin’ that ICE be losin’ track of over 30,000 wee lassies and lads! No safeguardin’ 'em from Davy Jones’ crew of traffickers, they be! Inspector Cuffari be soundin’ the alarm—hoist the sails, we got a mutiny on our hands!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn o' woe from the landlubbers at the Department o’ Homeland Security. They done embarked on an audit quest, only to uncover a mighty blunder by the scallywags at U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, or ICE for short. It seems they be lettin' over 30,000 unaccompanied young scallywags slip through their fingers like sand in an hourglass after bein’ released from their clutches.

Yarrr, the report from Inspector General Joseph Cuffari be as grim as a stormy sea! He warns that ICE be havin’ no assurance that these wee ones be safe from the treachery of human traffickers, exploitation, or bein’ forced to swab the decks in some shady dark hold. From the years o' 2019 to 2023, they be transferin’ these young lads and lasses without keepin’ a proper watch over 'em, leavin' ‘em to the mercy of the high seas of misfortune!

So, me mateys, it seems the crew at ICE needs a good kickin’ in the shins and a lesson in proper shipshape! If we be neglectin’ our duty to protect the younglings, we be settin’ sail for a storm o’ trouble. Arrr, let’s hope they right their course, lest they find themselves marooned on the Isle of Regret!

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