The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Ahoy! Coppers be on the hunt fer two scallywags who plundered the lair of Coach Rick Pitino, savvy?

2024-08-22

Avast, mateys! Coach Rick Pitino of St. John’s be a poor soul, robbed of his treasures! The scallywags made off with his prized trinkets. The constables be huntin’ for the rascals who dared plunder the Hall of Fame captain’s quarters. Arrr, seek 'em out, ye landlubbers!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale of thievery and mischief upon the high seas of basketball! The famed captain o' the court, Coach Rick Pitino, found himself a victim of a dastardly burglary whilst holdin’ court at St. John’s University. Just as the sun dipped below the horizon, two scallywags broke into his quarters and made off with some prized booty, includin’ a ceremonial sword and a bullhorn, valued at a paltry $375!

Arrr, can ye believe it? A sword fit for a pirate and a horn to rally the lads, snatched away like a fish from the sea! The good folks o' the NYPD be searchin’ high and low for the knaves, and Pitino, in his jolly spirit, jested about a fancy bottle of wine bein' among the plunder. Fear not, he claims it be safe 'till his team reaches the Final Four, a gathering more glorious than a treasure chest of doubloons!

Pitino, a Hall of Fame legend, has seen his fair share of battles on the court, winin’ championships and coachin’ the likes of the Knicks and Celtics. But now, he be fightin’ a different kind of skirmish—gettin' back his stolen treasures! So, keep yer eyes peeled, mates, and let’s hope the winds of fortune blow in his favor!

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