The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! CBS lass Gayle King be takin’ a tumble, thinkin’ Travis Kelce be at the DNC 'stead of chasin' pigskin!

2024-08-23

Arrr, me hearties! CBS lass Gayle King be spoutin’ that Travis Kelce, the Chiefs’ mighty tight end, be hollerin’ at the Harris crew ‘bout joinin’ the grand shindig on the last eve o’ the DNC! Aye, what a jolly hullabaloo that be!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round and let me regale ye with a tale from the high seas of politics and sport! Word on the wind be that grand celebrities like Beyoncé and Taylor Swift were bein’ whispered as surprise guests at the grand finale of the Democratic National Convention, but one scallywag, NFL star Travis Kelce, got himself caught in a pickle. Aye, he fancied joinin' the festivities, yet his ship was set to sail for a mighty clash against the Chicago Bears that very night! Our fair CBS hostess, Gayle King, shared the tale that Kelce had reached out to the Vice President's campaign, hopin’ to land a spot in the spotlight while Taylor sang sweet shanties. But alas, the fates conspired against him, for the Chiefs had a game at 8:20 p.m. sharp! Aye, his mates reminded King that he be a busy lad, even if he weren’t playin’ that night. With the DNC commandeerin' the airwaves, the poor Chiefs fans found themselves stranded, unable to catch the game as the convention took over their viewing! What a hullabaloo! So, Travis missed the convention, and the fans missed their game—talk about a stormy sea of disappointment! Arrr, such be the life of a pirate in these troubled waters!

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