"Arrr, Harrison Butker be summonin' matey JD Vance t' hoist the Jolly Roger for the wee ones not yet born!"
2024-08-23
Arrr, matey! The Kansas City Chiefs' bootin' swabber, Harrison Butker, be hollerin' at Sen. JD Vance, the GOP's noble first mate! He be askin' him to steer the party back to its compass—where all lives be treasures, and the wee ones in the belly be guarded like gold doubloons!
Ahoy mateys! Gather ‘round fer a tale of a kicker named Harrison Butker, o’ the Kansas City Chiefs, who be makin’ waves with his mighty words on matters of faith and the rights o’ the unborn! On the treacherous seas o’ social media, he be implorin’ Senator JD Vance to steer the Republican ship back to its roots, claimin' that every life be valuable, ye see!Our brave Butker took aim at the scallywag former President Trump, who claimed he’d be a champion for women and their choices. With a hearty laugh, Butker declared that no captain is perfect, but he yearned for the good ol' days when all life was treasured. He called upon Vance, a fellow sailor in the Catholic fleet, to uphold the noble cause of defendin’ the wee ones yet to see the light o’ day.
With a quote from Father Chad Ripperger, Butker wisecracked about votin’ for the lesser of two evils, while sportin’ a tie that screamed “Protect the most vulnerable.” He even cast doubt on President Biden’s “delusional” thoughts on the matter, claimin’ that innocent babes be the greatest victims of our society.
And so, the tale unfolds, with Butker’s jersey flyin’ off the shelves faster than a cannonball! Aye, there be no stoppin’ this pirate of the gridiron! Yarrr!