The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Joey Votto be knowin' he be walkin' the plank of retirement when his boyhood idol called him a scallywag!

2024-08-24

Arrr, Joey Votto be settin' sail for retirement seas, he be! After spurnin' a chance to swing at a minor-league bounty, ol' Devon White be givin' him the ol' scallywag glare. Aye, the lad knows when to drop anchor!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of the great Joey Votto, a noble sea captain of the diamond, who has hung up his cleats after 17 seasons of swashbucklin' in Major League Baseball! At the ripe age of 40, this left-handed brigand made his exit after a rather peculiar moment in the minor leagues, when he turned down a chance to bat, claiming, “I’m good!” Aye, a strange day indeed!

As he sat upon the bench like a scallywag, he was confronted by Devon White, a first mate and former champion, who probed into Votto’s thoughts. The wise coach asked, “What’s the plan, matey?” To which Votto replied, “I think I’m done.” And just like that, he realized his time on the field was robbin' young lads of their chance to shine!

With a heart full of gratitude, he thanked his mates, knowing he took their precious plate appearances. This Toronto born buccaneer sails off into the sunset with a treasure of 2,135 hits, 356 homers, and 1,144 RBIs—an illustrious tale indeed! So, raise a tankard to Votto, who boldly admitted, “I was washed,” as he bids farewell to the grand game. Fair winds, Joey! May yer future be as bright as a pirate's gold! Arrr!

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