The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Trey Lance, the third treasure o' the draft, tossed five cannonballs to the wrong crew in the preseason!

2024-08-24

Arrr, me hearties! Young Trey Lance, the third mate picked from the treasure chest o' 2021, be tossin' five cannonballs o’ misfortune for the Dallas buccaneers, landlubberin' them to a 26-19 defeat at the hands o' the scallywags from Los Angeles! Aye, what a swabbin’!

Avast ye mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of one Trey Lance, the scallywag quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, who took to the field in a preseason skirmish against the Los Angeles Chargers. 'Twas a tale of high seas and treacherous waters, fer he amassed 323 yards, but alas, he also tossed five interceptions faster than a ship in a storm. The final score be a dismal 26-19, and Lance be left with naught but a heap of regrets.

This buccaneer's first misstep came in the second quarter, and though he be the leading rusher, gallivanting for 90 yards and even scoring a touchdown, his throwing arm seemed bewitched. The poor lad sailed into the red zone, only to be met with calamity as he flung his second pick. As the clock ticked down and the stakes rose, he hurled three more interceptions, including a pick-six, as if his arm were possessed by Davy Jones himself!

From high hopes of being the heir to Jimmy Garoppolo aboard the San Francisco galleon, to being traded for a mere fourth-round booty, Lance now finds himself a third-string mate behind Prescott and Rush. Nay, the Cowboys have cast off his fifth-year option, leaving him adrift as a free agent come season's end. Aye, what a tumultuous voyage it be for poor Trey!

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