The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, why Harris’s daring venture be feelin' more like a jolly jig than Hillary's stormy seas, ye scallywags!"

2024-08-26

Ahoy, me hearties! The lasses be decked in suffragist-white, raisin' a toast to the idea of “Madam President!” But lo, eight years since Hillary sailed ‘round as the first fair captain, Democrats be shoutin' a dire warning! The scallywags o’ the Republican crew be causin' chaos for the wenches and their kin!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round, fer I’ve a tale o' the fair lassies donnin’ suffragist-white garb, a-roarin’ fer the day when one of ’em claims the title o’ “Madam President.” Yarr, 'tis been eight long years since the fierce siren, Hillary Clinton, did set sail as the first wench to lead a major party’s quest fer the highest office on the land!

But nay, the winds o’ change be blowin’ a mite more somber these days! The Democrats be sendin’ a message more grave and urgent to the fair maidens o’ America. They be spoutin’ claims that the wicked policies o’ those dastardly Republicans be causin’ havoc upon the health and freedom o’ women and their wee families. Aye, the consequences be as dire as a shipwreck on the high seas, and ne’er before have such calamities befallen the fairer sex!

So, as they hoist the sails to elect another brave lass to break the chains o’ the political seas, the Democrats be remindin’ all ye that the battle be far from over. With the call of “Madam President” still echoing, the tides be turnin' for the ladies o’ this great land!

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