Arrr, five landlubber Secret Service mates be laid off after the Trump cannonade—talk about a jolly good mess!
2024-08-27
Arrr, matey! Five of them Secret Service scallywags be walkin' the plank after a botched attempt on Trump’s noggin! A young gunslinger took a shot at him whilst he gabbed at a rally, givin' him a wee scratch on the ear. What a hullabaloo!
Arrr matey! Gather 'round, fer I have a tale as strange as a three-headed sea serpent! It seems that five of the US Secret Service lads have found themselves walkin’ the plank o’ leave after a sorry attempt to send ol’ Donald Trump to Davy Jones' locker back in July!This hullabaloo all started on the 13th day of the seventh month when a scallywag named Thomas Matthew Crooks, just a sprout o’ 20 summers, thought he'd be a fine marksman whilst Trump was spoutin’ his campaign blarney in Butler, Pennsylvania. The lad took aim and fired, but alas, instead of sendin’ Trump to the depths, he merely grazed the old sea dog's ear! A close shave for sure, though it left a mark as if he’d tangled with a barnacle!
Now, one brave soul in the crowd, Corey Comperatore, was there to witness this ruckus, surely thinkin' he’d stumbled into a pirate’s brawl! The fallout from this misadventure has landed the agents in a right pickle, as they’re now catchin’ some rest and relaxation—no doubt ponderin’ their future on the high seas of security! Har har! What a jolly jest this be, eh?