The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Travis Kelce's old sea dog pops thinks he’s been shanghaied from X fer spillin’ too many salty secrets!

2024-08-27

Arrr! The sire of Kansas City’s swashbucklin’ tight end, Travis Kelce, be spillin’ the beans on why he be walkin’ the plank from the X seas o’ social media! Aye, ‘tis a tale of high jinks and scallywag shenanigans that left him marooned!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ye round as I spin ye a yarn ‘bout Ed Kelce, father to the famed Travis of the Kansas City Chiefs. The old sea dog claims he be banned for life from the treacherous waters of X, the social media cove! He first spouted off on Facebook, a fine vessel for his thoughts, and elaborated further on why the salty trolls of Elon’s domain be keepin’ him from returnin’.

“Let me clear the fog!” he exclaimed. “I be a rare sailor on Facebook or Instagram. I simply drop anchor to share tidings ‘bout me lads. Now, I ruffled some feathers with a post about arms dealers on X, which got me banned! But I hardly be postin’ there! Just followin’ the sportin’ scribes during the games, savvy?”

Yet, the scallywags of X claim he breached their unwritten code, though he swears on his mother’s parrot he never did! “I reckon I was hacked by a rogue pirate!” he declared. “Meanwhile, arms dealers be peddlin’ their wares in the open!”

So here be the tale of Ed Kelce, a father fightin’ against the winds of social media injustice while preparin’ for the Chiefs’ next grand adventure on the gridiron! Yarrr!

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