The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Anthony Edwards be takin' a whippin' fer jabberin' 'bout old sea dogs! Calls ‘em fools, he does! Har har!

2024-08-28

Arrr, the wrinkled sea dogs be raisin' a ruckus! Young scallywag Anthony Edwards be claimin' the old-timers had no chops on the court! Aye, they be shoutin' like a ship in a storm, “Back in our day, we could sink a ship with a single shot!” Har har har!

Avast, me hearties! Gather 'round, for I’ve a tale of one young scallywag, Anthony Edwards, who be causin’ quite the ruckus in the NBA seas! This lad, the first mate of the 2020 draft, be tossin’ shade like it be a treasure map, claimin’ the old sea dogs of yore had no skill, save for the legendary Michael Jordan! Blimey!

“Back in me day, it was tougher!” he be sayin’, but ol’ Magic Johnson and Kevin Garnett be risin’ from the depths to challenge this lad’s recklessness. Magic, a five-time champion, said, “I don’t parley with landlubbers who haven’t won the gold!” Garnett chimed in, “Twenty years ago, they’d’ve sent you to Davy Jones’ locker!” Aye, their words be sharper than a cutlass!

And as the tides turned, wise old Tony Kornheiser called Edwards a fool for his blunderin’ tongue! The lad be talented, no doubt, but he’s tossin’ legends into the briny deep! Now, while he be strikin’ hard in the game, he’d best mind his manners or he’ll find himself walkin’ the plank of respect!

So, heed this tale, ye young pirates of the hardwood: respect the past, or ye may find the seas of basketball unforgiving! Arrr!

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