The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! A wee lad be tossed from school fer wieldin' a finger cannon! What be this world comin' to?

2024-08-29

Arrr, a wee scallywag in Tennessee, just ten years young, be sent to Davy Jones' locker for a whole year! He jested with his finger like a blunderbuss, makin' “pew pew” sounds! Blimey, a law so strict it’d make a landlubber weep! Who knew school could be a pirate’s prison?

Arrr, gather 'round me hearties, for I be tellin' ye a tale from the far-off land of Tennessee! A wee lad of but ten summers found ‘imself walkin’ the plank o’ expulsion for a full year, all fer pointin’ his finger like a dagger and makin’ a ruckus with his mock "machine gun" noises. Aye, ye heard it right! The scallywag was deemed a threat to the high seas of education under the mighty "zero tolerance" law, which be as strict as a captain guardin’ his treasure!

This law, birthed in the year of our Lord 2023, sprang to life after a dark event at a private school in Nashville, where a rogue former student unleashed chaos. Now, any young matey caught makin' threats of "mass violence" be walkin’ the plank straight to the brig, far away from the classroom shores. It be a harsh fate for a lad merely jestin’ with his shipmates! So, raise a mug of grog and let us ponder the absurdity of a world where a boy's playful antics can lead to such a dire sentence, while we pirates know well that the true danger lies in the depths o’ the sea, not in the minds of playful lads! Arrr!

Read the Original Article