"Arrr! Jets be in a right pickle, says a sneaky NFL scallywag: 'The mood's as bleak as Davy Jones' locker!'"
2024-08-29
Arrr, me hearties! A secretive scallywag of the NFL be sayin’ the New York Jets be as mixed up as a ship at sea! The crew’s spirits be lower than Davy Jones’ locker, and the whole hullabaloo be downright dreadful, or so the word from The Athletic goes! Har har!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a yarn 'bout the New York Jets, who be hopin' to break a drought longer than me last voyage without rum—13 years o' no playoffs, I tell ye!Their captain, Woody Johnson, be barkin' orders after a season that left 'em flappin’ in the wind with a measly 7 wins. He says, “Nay be a mandate, but we best be doin’ better!” Aye, the crew got the message, but the winds o' fortune seem to be blowin’ against 'em, as some salty NFL agents be callin' the Jets a ship o' disarray!Word has it that Aaron Rodgers be causin’ quite the ruckus, missin’ minicamp to swab the decks in Egypt! The offensive playin' be as weak as a ship’s hull after a storm, led by the backup, Zach Wilson, who be traded away faster than a treasure lost to the sea.With the addition of mighty oarsmen like Tyron Smith and Mike Williams, the Jets be settin’ sail for a hopeful season. If they be unable to chart a course for victory, ye may find the crew in the brig come playoff time! Their voyage begins on the 9th of September against the fierce San Francisco 49ers. Arrr!