The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, matey! Johnny's sister's weddin' be sunk like a ship, after her brothers met Davy Jones, say the winds!"

2024-08-30

Arrr, mateys! The fair Katie Gaudreau's nuptials be sunk, 'tis said, after her scallywag brothers, Johnny and Matthew, met their fate in a raucous rumble with a tipsy driver. Aye, the bottle be a treacherous foe! Let’s raise a toast to the fallen lads!

Ahoy there, ye scallywags! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn most tragic yet peculiar. Our fair lass Katie Gaudreau, sister to them NHL sea dogs, Johnny and Matthew, was set to tie the knot in Philadelphia. But alas! A cursed twist of fate struck her wedding plans as her brothers met their doom, struck down by a wretched scallywag suspected of bein' drunk as a sailor on shore leave. Arrr, what a calamity!

On a fine Friday, Katie and her matey, Devin Joyce, planned to wed at St. Mary’s, with a raucous celebration to follow. But the grim news of the Gaudreau brothers' demise sunk their ship before it could set sail. The family, though heartbroken, shared a statement, blessin' the world with the memory of two lads who were not only brothers but also fathers and friends, proving that the ties of family run deeper than the darkest seas.

As if the seas themselves were in turmoil, the villain Sean Higgins attempted to sail past two vessels only to crash into our dear brothers. He admitted to downin' more grog than a pirate on a bender! Now, he sits in the brig, awaitin’ his fate as the judge schools him on the error of his ways. So raise a tankard, me hearties, for the Gaudreau brothers, whose spirits shall sail on forever! Yarrr!

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