The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! A treasure hoard of over $350,000 for Matthew Gaudreau’s lass, heavy with child! Aye, the bounty be grand!

2024-08-31

Arrr, matey! A mighty treasure o' over $350,000 be gathered for fair Madeline Gaudreau, wife o' Matthew, after that scallywag driver sent both him and his brother, the NHL swashbuckler Johnny, to Davy Jones' locker. Aye, even in sorrow, the gold flows like grog!

Avast ye landlubbers! A tragic tale has befallen the Gaudreau crew, where two hearty lads, Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau, have met their untimely doom whilst cycling on the high roads of New Jersey. It be a black day indeed, as the brothers were struck by a scallywag named Sean Higgins, who was a few rum bottles short of a full ship, driving under the influence, no less!

In the wake of this calamity, a GoFundMe treasure chest has been set sail for Matthew's beloved wife, Madeline, who be expectin’ their little swab, baby Tripp, come December. The good-hearted folk have rallied ‘round, tossing in doubloons, and the coffers have overflowed to a whopping $365,000, far surpassing the initial goal of $30,000. Even some of the NHL’s finest were throwin’ in their coins, bless ‘em!

As the sports community hoisted their flags at half-mast and shared tales of the brothers' kindness, one can’t help but chuckle at the irony of it all—just as they were to celebrate a wedding, tragedy struck like a cannonball. Meanwhile, Higgins finds himself in deep waters, charged with grievous crimes, and awaited his judgment in chains. Aye, it be a tale for the ages, filled with sorrow and a sprinkle of humor amid the stormy seas of life!

Read the Original Article