The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Riley Leonard be prayin' harder than findin’ buried treasure in Notre Dame's triumph o'er Texas A&M!

2024-09-01

Arrr, matey! Last night, the gallant Riley Leonard of the Notre Dame crew sported a grand cross upon his visage and an armband blazoned with holy words! Aye, this scallywag be mixin' football with a touch o' divine flair! What be next, a parrot preachin' scripture? Har har!

Avast ye hearties! Gather 'round fer the tale of Riley Leonard, the brave quarterback of the Fighting Irish crew, who set sail against the Texas A&M scallywags on a fateful Saturday night. With a cross painted upon his visage in black, this gallant lad showed that his faith was as strong as a ship's hull against the fiercest storm, guiding his crew to a triumphant 23-13 victory!

Now, Riley be a transfer from Duke, takin' on his former captain, Mike Elko, like a true buccaneer faced with an old foe. Though he didn't toss any touchdowns, his trusty mates, Jeremiyah Love and Jadarian Price, plundered the end zone with their swashbucklin' runs! And what be this? A sacred scripture wrapped around his wrist from Matthew 23:12! Aye, the verse speaks of humility, just as a good pirate knows to keep his head low when avoiding the gallows!

In days past, our lad declared that his faith played a mighty role in choosin' Notre Dame, a bastion of Catholic values. As he lay his head down at night, his thoughts weren't on the spoils of victory, but rather on how well he treated his lady fair and honored his kin. Aye, his heart be as pure as the finest gold!

Next week, the Irish shall return to their home port to face the Northern Illinois crew, ready to hoist the victory flag once more!

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