"Arrr! That ex-baseball scallywag be callin' San Fran a cursed pit after a NFL mate got shanghaied!"
2024-09-01
Arrr! Old Mark Mulder be spoutin' off 'bout the cursed city of San Fran, after young Ricky Pearsall, a fledglin' wide catchin' lad, found himself in a pickle thanks to some lead flyin’! Aye, the city's not safe fer a swab like him! Blasted scallywags!
Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of one Mark Mulder, a former swashbucklin' MLB star, who took to the briny depths o' the internet to unleash a tirade on the city o' San Francisco! Yarr, it seems a rookie wide receiver fer the 49ers, Ricky Pearsall, found himself in a right pickle when a scallywag tried to snatch his golden Rolex, only to end up shootin' the lad in the chest. Fear not, for the bullet sailed clean through without touchin' naught but air and fabric!Mulder, fired up like a cannon, declared the city an "absolute hell hole" while the locals pranced about, blissfully oblivious to the chaos, steppin' in who-knows-what! Other buccaneers of the sports realm have also laid their swords against the city, with the likes of Charles Barkley and Buster Posey throwin' shade on the crime-riddled shores. The mayor herself, London Breed, promised to keep the peace and hold the ruffians accountable, all while hopin' Pearsall makes a swift recovery.
So, as our young footballer sails back to health, let's raise a tankard to him and keep watch for those dastardly rogues lurkin' about the streets of San Francisco!