Arrr! Coach Kelly be poundin’ the table, yellin’, “This be a daft defeat, mateys! Unacceptable, I say!”
2024-09-02
Arrr, matey! Coach Brian Kelly be takin' no prisoners, blastin' his crew after they sunk faster than a ship full o' treasure in their first clash against them scallywags o' USC on the high seas o' football Sunday night! Aye, a right jolly tongue-lashin' it was!
Arrr mateys! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn ‘bout the LSU football crew, led by the vexed Captain Brian Kelly. After a fierce battle with the Trojans, they found themselves sunk, losing 27-20, amidst a storm of personal fouls that sent opportunities straight to Davy Jones’ locker!With a fist like a cannonball thundering on the table, Coach Kelly let loose his frustration, barkin’ about his scallywags who played like true sea dogs but then let their discipline sail away into the abyss. “We be talkin’ ‘bout the same ol’ mischief!” he hollered, lamentin’ how they couldn’t finish off their foes when the time was ripe!
In the third quarter, with a four-point lead, the crew got too comfy, and before ye knew it, the Trojans struck back, aided by a targeting penalty that put ‘em right in the treasure chest—er, I mean, the end zone!
“Me heart be heavy!” Coach Kelly wailed, “We’ve not held to our code of discipline!” With three season-opening losses in a row, the Tigers be in a precarious position, lookin’ for a fair wind to right their ship. So hoist the sails and tighten the riggin’, for the season’s just begun, and the crew needs to find their sea legs again! Arrr!