The Booty Report

Arrr, the House scallywags be bickering over booty as the stormy elections approach! Avast, what a merry mess!

2024-09-03

Arrr, mateys! The lawmakers be settin' sail back to D.C. next week, hopin' to hoist a spendin' bill before the first of October, lest the ship of state sink! But those scallywag conservatives be demandin' treasure, threatenin' to spark a right ruckus ‘fore the elections! Aye, what a merry mess!

Avast ye mateys! The lawmakers be settin’ sail back to the fair city of Washington next week, with their sights set on hoistin' a spendin' bill before the fateful date of Oct. 1, lest they be cap’n of a sunken ship—aka, a shut government! But beware! The House’s rowdy crew of hardline conservatives be demandin’ concessions that could sink the smooth sailin’ of a jolly, drama-free election-year deal.

Despite the tall tales spun by the House Republican leaders, they’ve once again failed to hoist all 12 of their annual spendin’ bills into the crow’s nest. Aye, they be settin’ their compass towards the usual funding patch, hopin’ to float on by ‘til after the Nov. 5 elections without bein’ tossed overboard.

Now, the House Freedom Caucus be likin’ to rattle their sabers, demandin’ all manner of concessions that could turn this fair voyage into a stormy sea of contention! Will they find common ground or be left fightin’ like scallywags in a tavern? Only time will tell, but me thinks it be a tempest brewin’ in the political waters ahead! Yarrr!

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