The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Ryan Crouser be a-fixatin' on gold in 2028, hopin' to retire on yonder American shore, savvy?

2024-09-04

Arrr, matey! Ryan Crouser be the first scallywag to snatch three shiny golds in the shot put at the Paris Games, aye! But this American track and field buccaneer be already settin' his sights on more treasure, savvy? Avast, the lad's got no plans to rest!

Ahoy me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of a fine lad named Ryan Crouser, who made waves at the 2024 Paris Olympics! This scallywag be the first in history to snatch three golds in the men’s shot put—or as we call it, the mighty metal for tossin' heavy orbs! Three times straight, mind ye!

Now, Crouser, he be a jolly fellow, reminiscin’ about his grand triumph in Paris, claimin’ this shiny prize be his favorite since he could finally savor the sweet taste of victory without feelin’ the noose of pressure tight around his neck. Unlike last time in Tokyo, where he felt like a ship with a leaky hull, this time he sailed smooth seas!

But hold yer horses! Aye, he faced stormy waters with injuries that nearly sunk his ship. Yet, he rose like a phoenix from the sea, claimin’ personal growth was the treasure of this journey. Now, with his eyes set on the golden shores of Los Angeles in 2028, the lad dreams of retiring a champion on his own homeland, like a true pirate captain!

With his trusty supplements from Thorne, he be makin' sure his shipshape training be keepin’ him in the finest form, all while avoidin’ the treacherous waters of doping! So raise yer tankards to Ryan Crouser, the shot put star with a heart of gold!

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