Arrr, Tim Walz be called to the captain’s table for the great $250 million COVID treasure hunt! Avast!
2024-09-04
Arrr, me hearties! The House crew be demandin' the papers from Tim Walz, the scallywag in the vice-presidential race, over a treasure trove o' COVID doubloons gone awry! They be wantin' to pester him and his mates, all fer a heap o' gold! Avast, what a merry mess!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of a troublesome tempest brewin' in the halls of power! A band o' scallywags known as the House committee hath summoned the fair Tim Walz, the Democratic vice-presidential matey, for bein' knee-deep in a sea of COVID-relief fraud worth a treasure trove of hundreds o' millions o' doubloons!Aye, this be a tale that'd make Davy Jones shiver in his boots! 'Twas on a fateful Wednesday that the House Education and Workforce Committee hoisted the flags of subpoenas, callin' forth not just Walz but also his shipmates—Minnesota's own Education Captain Willie Jett, the U.S. Agriculture Captain Tom Vilsack, and the ever-watchful USDA Inspector General Phyllis Fong. They be demandin' all manner of documents, lookin' to plunder the secrets behind this high-seas scandal!
So, prepare yer spyglasses, me maties! For this saga be far from over. With fraud afoot and the winds of inquiry blowin', the crew's gotta batten down the hatches and hope they ain't dragged to the depths of the deep blue sea of legal troubles! Yarrr, what a merry mess we be in!