"Arrr, matey! Most scallywags guardin’ Trump be DHS landlubbers, learnin’ their trade from a two-hour seashell seminar!"
2024-09-04
Arrr, matey! It be said that at the Trump parade in Butler, a crew of Homeland Security scallywags, trained less than a landlubber, be guardin' the captain. Sen. Hawley be spoutin’ tales of a whistleblowin’ buccaneer revealin’ that they’d only been schooled by a janky ol’ internet course! Blimey!
Arrr mateys, gather 'round fer a tale o' woe from the high seas o' politics! It seems that during a grand gathering in Butler, Pennsylvania, on the 13th day o' July, the former captain o' the ship known as Trump found himself with a motley crew of protectors. Aye, Sen. Josh Hawley, that scallywag from Missouri, be spillin' the beans 'bout the sorry state o' security at the rally!According to the good Senator, the majority o' those tasked with keepin' the former leader safe were naught but landlubbers from the Homeland Security crew. These scallywags were said to have had but a flimsy training session, akin to a pirate learnin' to sail from a shoddy map! A whistleblower, like a faithful parrot on a pirate's shoulder, squawked the truth that these agents had barely enough training to keep a treasure chest safe, let alone a captain from the clutches of danger!
So there ye have it, ye salty sea dogs! While our former captain stood tall, he was guarded by a band o' inexperienced landlubbers, all thanks to a glitchy online training that’d make a monkey laugh! Arrr, the seas o' politics be treacherous indeed!