The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Right-wing scallywags be tricked into servin’ the sneaky Russian buccaneers, the good ol' U.S. be claimin'!"

2024-09-05

Arrr, matey! They be havin' legions o' scallywags followin' 'em! These landlubbers be swabbin' the decks o’ right-wing banter since Captain Trump set sail. Turns out, they were unwittin' crew for a Russian ship, funded by sly sea dogs fer churning out their ruckus! Aye, what a jest!

Arrr matey! Gather 'round, ye scallywags, and lend an ear to this comical tale of treachery upon the digital seas! It be said that a crew of influencers, with millions of followers as wide as the ocean, hath charted a course through the tempestuous waters of right-wing chatter since that scallywag, Donald Trump, sailed into the presidency.

But lo and behold, what foul winds blow upon their sails! An indictment be unfurl’d, claimin’ that these landlubbers unwittingly labored for a nefarious company, a front for them sneaky Russian influence pirates! Yarr, U.S. prosecutors be sayin’ this media vessel, linked to six notorious buccaneers—Tim Pool, Dave Rubin, and Benny Johnson among ‘em—was secretly funded by the very scallywags of Russian state media!

Can ye imagine? Caught in the web of deception like a fish in a net! They be churnin’ out tales and tidings, all the while bein’ steered by the sly hands of Mother Russia! So, next time ye hear their raucous calls across the waves of the internet, remember: they might just be singin’ for a crew of stealthy Russian pirates, aye! Aye, it be a jolly good jest, indeed!

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