The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Simone Biles be sportin' a blingy GOAT necklace that surely riles the landlubbers! Har har!

2024-09-05

Arrr, matey! Simone Biles be the glitterin' jewel o' gymnasts, claimin' more treasures than a sea dog in a gold mine! She’s hoisted the flag o’ gymnastics high, makin’ it shine like a doubloon in the U.S. and beyond! Yarrr, what a lass!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about the grandest gymnast of the seven seas, Simone Biles! This lass be a true treasure, adding three more shiny gold medals to her bounty at the Paris Games, makin' her a legend of the highest order!

But that be not all, for she be sportin' a glorious necklace with a "GOAT" charm that sent waves through the crew of athletes and fans alike, causin' quite the ruckus 'bout her title as the greatest of 'em all. Aye, she be a guest on the "Tonight Show," where the swabs of the sea called her the GOAT, and she took it in stride, havin' a hearty laugh at them who challenge her greatness.

“It be a right jolly jest,” she said, “it pleases me crew and ruffles the feathers of me detractors!” The necklace, crafted with 546 glimmerin' diamonds, be as unique as she be, made by a jeweler who swore on the high seas never to make another like it. So, if ye be wishin' for a piece of the GOAT's treasure, ye might as well walk the plank, for it’s one of a kind, just like our Simone! Arrr!

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