The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Fever be needin' an enforcer to guard fair Caitlin Clark from scallywags who strike her! Har har!

2024-09-07

Arrr, matey! A once-mighty NBA swashbuckler be sayin' the Indiana Fever be missin' a treasure! Young Caitlin Clark be takin' a real beatin' from rival scallywags. Avast! Where be the crew to protect this lass? Aye, we need more cannons on deck, or she'll be walkin' the plank!

Ahoy, matey! Gather 'round and lend me yer ear, fer the Indiana Fever be settin' sail fer the WNBA playoffs, their first voyage since 2016! With the young lass Caitlin Clark at the helm, this crew's been hotter than a cannonball in a treasure hunt, settin' records ablaze as they chart their course through the league.

Currently, these scalawags be holdin' a top-six spot in the playoffs, with Clark's trusty mates—Aliyah Boston, Nalyssa Smith, and Kelsey Mitchell—showin' off their skills like pirates with a chest o' gold. But hark! A former NBA sea dog claims they be missin' a key piece: an enforcer to guard the fair Clark from the rough seas of the court. Aye, her new fans be ragin' like tempestuous storms when rival crews be layin' the foul on her.

Even as she dodges blows like a seasoned buccaneer, the wise Joakim Noah be suggestin' that the Fever needs to bolster their ranks with a brawny mate to protect their star from the cannon fodder. “If I owned the Fever,” he says, “I’d be huntin’ for a real enforcer!” So, let it be known, ye landlubbers: this crew needs a guardian to fend off the salty scallywags who dare cross their path! Arrr!

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