The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Drew Rosenhaus be sayin’ them officers' treatment o' Tyreek Hill be as welcome as a leaky ship!

2024-09-09

Arrr! Drew Rosenhaus, the scallywag agent of Miami Dolphins’ prized treasure, Tyreek Hill, be makin’ a ruckus ‘bout how they be treatin’ his matey during his Sunday mornin’ trouble! Aye, he be ragin’ like a tempest, right before the grand match! Arrr, what a jest!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale of one Tyreek Hill, a fine wide receiver of the Miami Dolphins, who found himself in a right scallywag of a situation! Just hours afore settin' sail to battle the Jacksonville Jaguars, he was seized by the local constables, handcuffed like a landlubber caught tryin' to steal treasure!

His agent, Drew Rosenhaus, be raisin' a ruckus, callin’ the whole affair “completely unacceptable.” He claimed Tyreek deserved better treatment than what he got from the coppers. The scallywags even had the audacity to cuff him in front of his mates, includin' defensive end Calais Campbell, who also got his wrists shackled whilst tryin' to lend a hand!

Now, the good ship Miami-Dade Police has put one officer on “administrative duties,” whatever that means in the pirate's tongue, awaitin' an internal investigation. Meanwhile, Hill scratched his head, wonderin' what mischief might have been afoot had he not been a star player. “What if I wasn’t Tyreek Hill?” he pondered, a frown upon his brow.

But lo and behold! He still managed to score an 80-yard touchdown against the Jaguars, celebratin' with a wink at his earlier troubles. Aye, the life of a pirate be full of surprises, eh? Yarrr!

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