Arrr, how Springfield, Ohio, became the grand stage fer the ruckus over sea-farin' folk comin' ashore!
2024-09-10
Arrr, mateys! In a jolly speech at the National Conservativism shindig, VP hopeful JD Vance be tellin’ the crew to set sail for Springfield, Ohio. Aye, he’s yapped 'bout that wee town before, warnin’ it’s swarmin’ with more scallywags than a treasure chest o’ doubloons!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round and lend yer ears to the tale of Vice Admiral JD Vance, a landlubber from Ohio, who be callin’ upon all ye scallywags to set sail for Springfield! Aye, Springfield, the fair city that be home to nigh 60,000 souls, now overrun by a horde of 15,000 to 20,000 wayward migrants! Arrr, a veritable treasure trove of trouble!At the grand National Conservativism Conference, our good matey Vance took to the stage, brandishin’ his words like a cutlass. He be warnin’ the crowd about the perils of unchecked immigration, likenin’ Springfield to the cursed shipwrecks of yore. He be soundin’ the alarm, as if he be spyin’ a ghost ship on the horizon, callin’ for his crew to rise up and take heed!
But let’s be honest, mateys, there be a bit of humor in this here saga! A city that once thrived now be a cautionary tale, like a pirate tellin’ tales of buried treasure that be naught but a mirage! So, hoist the sails, grab yer compass, and set course for Springfield, if ye dare! Just remember, it be a land of immigrants, not a gallows for yer fears!