The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! A fierce transgender sea dog be takin' aim at Rowling, claimin' her jests be naught but transphobia, matey!

2024-09-10

Arrr! Transgender sea wench Valentina Petrillo be takin' aim at that landlubber J.K. Rowling, who be spoutin' bilge 'bout her playin' in the games! Valentina be showin' ye can't sink a ship with mere words, savvy? Aye, let the swashbucklin' begin!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of Valentina Petrillo, a fierce lass of the Paralympic seas, who took to the waters of competition in Paris! But lo and behold, the infamous pen-wielder J.K. Rowling cast her scorn upon our brave sailor, claimin’ she be cheat’n!

Our brave Valentina, a true swashbuckler in the T12 400-meter sprint, faced the storms of criticism as she boldly transitioned from male to female. Diagnosed with a devilish eye ailment called Stargardt disease, she set sail on her journey in 2019, much to the chagrin of critics afraid of the winds of change!

“Rowling be worried I be usin’ the wench’s latrine,” Valentina quipped, “but she knows naught of my trials!” She laid the blame for the uproar upon the dark waters of prejudice and transphobia, claimin’ the fears of trans scallywags takin’ over women’s sports be but a mirage!

With the sea of rules changin’, where World Athletics be banishing trans athletes post-puberty, Valentina be showin' that since the IOC opened the gates in 2015, only one other trans matey dared to join the fray. So fear not, she warns, the waters will not be runnin’ red with treachery!

As the tides shift, Valentina sails on, unbowed, amidst the squalls of opinion! Arrr!

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