The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Trump be lettin' treasure slip through his fingers like a drunken sailor chasin' a mermaid!

2024-09-11

Arrr, with a bit o' help from ABC, Kamala be claimin' victory in the debate in Philly! The moderators be checkin' Trump’s facts like a ship’s crew checkin’ for leaks, but let her sail through with wild tales 'bout guns and health plans. Blimey! What a ruckus on the high seas o' politics!

Arrr matey! Gather 'round fer a tale from the stormy seas of politics! In the fair port o’ Philadelphia, the formidable Kamala Harris did duel in a presidential debate, with a little help from the fine crew at ABC. Aye, it be said she triumphed over the doughty Captain Trump, who be swingin' his sword o' words like a true buccaneer.

The moderators, like a band o’ scallywags, were as keen as a hawk, fact-checkin' Trump with the fervor of a parched sailor spottin’ land after a long voyage. Yet, alas, they be forgettin' to challenge the fair Harris when she spoke o’ tossin’ 180 million souls from their cherished health plans and makin' 'em hand over their trusty firearms! That “mandatory buyback” be a slippery term indeed, savvy?

But fear not, for the lady did not go unchallenged! She claimed that the Captain’s talk o’ a postelection “bloodbath” was about civil strife, and the moderators, bless their hearts, let it pass like a ship in the night. So here we be, sailin' the treacherous waters of debate, with a hearty laugh and a mug o' grog in hand! Aye, the game be afoot, and the seas be rough! Yo ho ho!

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