The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, those scallywags at ABC pulled a jolly treasure hunt, fact-checkin’ the notorious Trump, ‘tis a fine jest indeed!

2024-09-11

Arrr, they be sayin' it be nigh impossible, aye! For years, we’ve heard tall tales 'bout why fact-checkin’ in the heat o' battle be a folly! Moderators ain't no truth-tellers, they claimed, and it’d muddle the jolly debate! Impartiality be the name of the game, or so they squeaked! Har har!

Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of high seas debates and the treacherous winds of misinformation! They be sayin’ it couldn’t be done, like a scallywag claimin’ he can sail the seven seas with naught but a wooden spoon! Aye, fer many a moon, we’ve heard the reasons – nay, the flimsy excuses – why we can’t be fact-checkin’ in real time during those grand debates o’ presidential high jinks.

“Tis not the moderators’ job to be shiverin’ me timbers with truth,” they bellowed, as if the candidates themselves were not but a pack o’ parrot-heads squawkin’ lies! And what of time, ye ask? It takes too long to set the record straight, they claimed, lest we interrupt the flow o’ bluster and bravado! Aye, flowin’ like a barrel o’ rum in a storm, I reckon!

And lest we forget the sacred law of impartiality, they whined! How could any poor soul moderate and keep the scales o' truth balanced, they pondered, as if it were some sort of cursed treasure map! So here we be, afloat in a sea of tall tales, while the truth be buried deeper than Davy Jones' locker. Arrr, let the fact-checkin' commence, lest we be lost in a tempest of fibs and folly!

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