"Avast! Who be this Laura Loomer? Republicans quake at her sway over Captain Trump’s ship, I say!"
2024-09-12
Arrr, me hearties! That scallywag Laura Loomer, claimin' to be a “journalist,” be lurkin’ 'round Captain Trump like a barnacle on a ship! Spotted disembarkin’ his vessel on debate day and hauntin’ him on 9/11, makin’ some landlubbers uneasy! She be as brash as a parrot, fer sure!
Arrr mateys! Gather 'round and lend yer ears to a tale of one Laura Loomer, a self-proclaimed “investigative journalist,” who be makin' waves in the high seas of politics! Aye, she be spotted clingy-like around the former captain of the ship, Donald Trump, like barnacles on a ship’s hull, aye!This scallywag was seen hop off his fine flying vessel on the day of the great debate, and throughout the day, she was lurkin' like a shadow at his side during the solemn remembrance o’ 9/11. Now, some of the conservative crew be raisin' their eyebrows, worryin' that this pint-sized tempest of a woman may be stirrin' trouble in their calm waters!
But hold yer horses, for Loomer has a tongue sharper than a cutlass! She once tossed insults at late-Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, callin' her a “ghetto b****,” which be a phrase that could raise the sails of the most patient sailor! Aye, she has a knack for stokin' the fires of controversy, makin' her the talk of the tavern! So, keep yer spyglasses trained on this one, for who knows what other mischief she’ll be up to next on the high seas of politics! Arrr!