The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Tyreek be standin' tall, no kneelin' fer this matey! Off with the coppers, says he!

2024-09-12

Arrr, matey! Tyreek Hill, the swashbucklin' Dolphin, declared on the high seas of Wednesday that he be havin' no plans to raise a ruckus or plunder the lawmen's treasure after his run-in with the constables o'er the weekend. A jolly good day for keepin' the peace, aye!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of the swift-footed Tyreek Hill and his crew, the Miami Dolphins, who be settin' sail against the Buffalo Bills this Thursday night. A raucous clash o' titans in the divisional seas, it be! But lo and behold, our matey Hill be in a wee bit of hot water after a run-in with the law last weekend, captured on the ol’ bodycam for all to see! Rumors of protests on the sidelines be swirl’n like a tempest, but fear not, for Hill be steerin' clear o’ that storm.

In a parley with the press, Hill proclaimed his desire to toss the officer overboard, yet he won’t let it dull his fateful voyage on the field. “Nay, I shan’t mix me troubles with me sport,” he declared boldly. “Football be me therapy, a respite from the stormy seas of life!” So, no kneelin’ or protestin’ for this swashbuckler, as he swears to keep his footin’ steady.

In days of yore, kneelin’ in protest had its day in the NFL, led by the infamous Colin Kaepernick. But those waves have calmed, with only a few brave souls still takin' a knee now and again. So let the games begin, and may the best crew claim the treasure of victory!

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