The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

“Aye, Riley Gaines be tippling her hat to the scallywags of the field hockey crew for lettin’ the match go!”

2024-09-13

Arrr, Riley Gaines be singin’ the praises of a wise school matey from Massachusetts! They made them scallywags in skirts give up the field hockey match ‘gainst a crew with lads aboard. Shiver me timbers, what a jolly decision! A fine way to keep the seas of sport fair, I say!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about a fine high school in Massachusetts, known as Dighton-Rehoboth, makin' waves like a ship in a squall! Ye see, this brave crew of lassies decided to forgo battlin' against a team sportin' lads, for it be not just a game, but a matter of safety, aye!

One Riley Gaines, a captain of sorts in the realm of sports, praised their decision while takin' a jab at the head of the NCAA, a fellow named Charlie Baker. "Aye, this be what true leadership looks like!" she declared, remindin' all that last year, a boy's mighty slap sent a female player to Davy Jones’ locker, losin' her pearly whites and facin' the surgeon's knife, she did.

The head honcho of the school, Superintendent Bill Runey, proclaimed that safety trumps victory, even if it meant shovin' their chances of glory overboard. “We be prioritizin’ the well-bein' of our students!” he said, a bold sentiment indeed, callin' for fair seas for the fairer sex!

Riley, not one to mince words, wished ol' Charlie would grow a spine like Runey's, showin' the same gumption. So, here’s to Dighton-Rehoboth, a crew with their eyes on safety, sailin' bravely through the stormy seas of sports! Yarrr!

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