The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Pro-Israel matey took aim at a scallywag, claimin’ self-defense! A fine mess on the high seas of justice!

2024-09-13

Arrr, matey! A loudmouthed Israel supporter be in hot water, fer he let loose his cannon in self-defense when a scallywag tackled him to the briny deck at a wee rally! Seems the good captain took his stand a tad too far, eh?

Arrr mateys, gather 'round fer a tale of a ruckus in Massachusetts where tempers flared hotter than a cannonball in a gunpowder barrel! One Scott Hayes, a pro-Israel scallywag of 47 years, found himself in a right pickle when a lad sportin’ a Palestinian flag pin charged across the street like a crazed seagull! A dispute over the Gaza fray erupted, with the flag-waver accusin' Hayes and his crew of defendin' "genocide" and callin’ them "sick." What a kerfuffle!

In the heat of battle, the flag-flyin' landlubber tackled Hayes to the ground, grabbin' him by the throat like a pirate lookin’ to claim his treasure! But lo and behold, in a moment of desperation, Hayes pulled out his trusty piece and fired a shot, hittin' the attacker in the belly! Yarr, that’s one way to settle a score!

As chaos ensued, other pro-Israel mates stomped on the wounded lad, draggin' him away like a sack o' potatoes! Hayes, bless his heart, even tended to the injured swab, callin’ for the landlubbers at 911. Now, the law’s after him, and he faces charges like a true rogue. Arrr, stay tuned, for this saga be far from over, with the whole town watchin’ like it be the finest theater on the high seas!

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