The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the Pope be sayin’ Trump and Harris be swimmin’ ‘gainst the tides of life, like barnacles on a ship!

2024-09-13

Arrr, matey! He be sayin' that American Catholics be caught between a rock and a hard place, havin' to pick the “lesser of two scallywags.” One be a cruel Captain Trump, givin' no quarter to immigrants, while the other, Miss Kamala, be favorin’ the lady’s right to choose!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round the ol’ ship’s mast fer a tale o’ the American Catholic crew ponderin’ a devilish dilemma! Our captain, a wise sailor, be spoutin’ that when it comes to the grand ol’ election, they be stuck choosin’ the lesser of two scallywags!

On one side, we have Trump, a landlubber known fer his brutal ways towards poor souls seekin’ refuge on our shores. Aye, he be treatin’ them like barnacles on a ship’s hull! ‘Tis a cruel fate fer those who merely seek a better life, led by the winds of hope!

Then, on the other side, we be faced with Kamala Harris, a lass who be championin’ the right to choose, causin’ a ruckus ‘mongst the faithful. She be settin' sail fer the shores of abortion rights, makin’ the goodly folk scratch their heads and clench their fists!

So, what be a good Catholic sailor to do? ‘Tis a right stormy sea they be navigatin’! Choose the cruel captain who tosses immigrants overboard, or the lass who sets sail with a crew o’ controversy! Arrr, the choices be as grim as a kraken’s belly! In the end, it be a matter of pickin’ the least fearsome beast from the depths of despair!

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