The Booty Report

“Arrr! Hidden scrolls show Captain Nixon be favorin’ the devil’s weed! Aye, even scallywags need a puff!”

2024-09-14

Arrr, two years into the tussle against the green devil, Captain Nixon confessed in the captain's quarters that the wacky weed be “not so perilous.” His words, caught by his sneaky contraptions, suggest it was all a political plunder! Aye, Londoño from the Times be spillin' the beans!

Ahoy there, me hearty! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn ’bout the grand ol’ days of the war on drugs, when President Richard Nixon, the captain of the ship of state, took a mighty fine swig o’ truth two years after hoistin’ the flag of battle. In a secret parley within the hallowed halls of the Oval Office, he declared to his scallywags that marijuana be “not particularly dangerous.” Aye, ye heard me right!

This admission, caught by his sneaky little recording device, be like a treasure map uncoverin’ the buried booty of political shenanigans. It be suggestin’ that the whole hullabaloo o’ criminalizin’ the green herb was less 'bout safety and more 'bout keepin’ the crew in line, aye! Ernesto Londoño, a landlubber from the New York Times, sails the seas of drug use and counternarcotics policy, exposin’ these murky waters.

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