The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Bart Scott be spillin' the beans on hangin' up his boots: "Spots and lights be dancin' before me eyes!"

2024-09-14

Arrr, me hearty! Bart Scott, that swashbucklin' linebacker from the NFL seas, spilled the beans on why he hung up his boots! 'Twas not for the treasure, but a yarn 'bout Tua Tagovailoa that made him say, “Avast! I be done!” Aye, the sea be callin' louder!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round for the tale of Bart Scott, a swashbucklin’ linebacker who sailed the NFL seas fer 11 grand years with the Baltimore Ravens and the New York Jets. After the winds of 2012 blew him ashore, he spoke of his retirement on the cursed waters of ESPN’s "Get Up."

"They be thinkin' I tossed me career due to a wee toe injury," he declared, "but nay, it was the confounded lights and spots botherin' me peepers!" Aye, it was light sensitivity that made him toss his tricorn hat in the ring, a secret he kept tighter than a pirate's treasure chest. "When ye start seein’ stars, it be time to weigh anchor!" he exclaimed.

But, lo, he pondered if he’d jumped ship too soon, for once an athlete, always an athlete, he mused. "Ye be havin’ two deaths as a player," he lamented. "Ye wake up a young lad, and the world be a vast ocean of confusion!"

From an undrafted scallywag to a Pro Bowl hero, Scott amassed 747 tackles and 25 sacks in 172 battles. And with Tua Tagovailoa unduly tangled in concussion woes, the cries for retirement echoed across the seas. Aye, such be the life of a pirate in the land of gridirons!

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