The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Three scallywags from the colonies be facing the noose in the Congo for tryin' to steal the captain's hat!"

2024-09-14

Arrr, matey! Three scallywag Americans be swingin' from the gallows in Congo, joinin' other landlubbers in their doom, all fer tryin' to plunder the crown in a botched coup last May! Aye, they be learnin' the hard way that treasure hunts be best left to the savvy!

Arrr, gather 'round, me hearties! A trio of landlubber American lads be sentenced to swing from the gallows in the treacherous waters of the Congo! They be found guilty of joinin’ a hapless coup attempt led by the scallywag father of young Marcel Malanga, who threatened to send ‘em to Davy Jones’ locker if they dared disobey! Aye, what a pickle!These sea dogs, aged just 21 and one at 36, be caught in a right rumble at the presidential palace, thinkin’ they were joinin’ a merry band of adventurers, when in truth, they be caught up in a dastardly plot! The father, Christian Malanga, be payin' the ultimate price for his folly, shot while attemptin' to escape like a cowardly rat! The U.S. State Department be watchin' this legal sea storm closely, but they be keepin’ their tongues tied about fairness, savvy?Marcel claims he was just followin' orders, while his mate Tyler thought he was off for a jolly good holiday. Oh, the irony of it all! Now, with a Brit, a Belgian, and a Canadian joinin' this unfortunate crew in death’s embrace, the seas be rough! Let us hope the tides turn in favor of these young scallywags, lest they be meetin' the grim fate that awaits the guilty in this wild land! Arrr!

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