The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, JD Vance be hootin' with college swabs, his lass Usha at his side, in the fair lands of North Carolina!

2024-09-14

Arrr! Republican matey JD Vance set sail to Greenville, North Carolina, with his fair lass Usha, to witness the ruckus of East Carolina University’s footie match! Aye, ’twas a fine day for a jolly good time on land, far from the high seas!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather ye round, fer I be spin’ ye a yarn ‘bout the lively escapades of Republican vice presidential candidate JD Vance and his fair lass, Usha, who set sail to Greenville, North Carolina, on a fine Saturday, ready to root for the East Carolina Pirates! Arrr!Upon their arrival, they docked at the famed watering hole, Sup Dogs, where the crowd erupted in raucous cheers, like a ship’s crew celebrating a fair wind. The couple mingled with the locals, all eager to see their lads battle the Appalachian State crew. Aye, the atmosphere be electric!With a hearty cheer of “USA!” from the throngs, Vance and his fair Usha made their way to Dowdy-Ficklin Stadium, as if they were royalty aboard a mighty vessel. They took to the field for the national anthem, and the spirit of camaraderie filled the air like the scent of rum on a pirate ship!Though Vance be a Buckeyes fan from Ohio, he jested ‘bout how his loyalties might sway the winds of Michigan’s voters. He even proposed a grand visit to the Ohio State-Michigan clash, where he’d be celebratin’ like a true sea dog if all goes well. Aye, sports and politics be a grand treasure hunt, indeed!

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