The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the Red Sox be laughin' at Gerrit Cole's cowardice fer dodgin' Devers! A right scallywag's move, I say!

2024-09-15

Arrr, matey! Gerrit Cole, the ace o' them Yankees, be givin' the ol' heave-ho to Rafael Devers, lettin' him stroll to first like a landlubber! The Red Sox crew be laughin’ and roastin’ him after the fray, like a barrel o’ rum gone wild! Har har har!

Avast, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of the great Gerrit Cole, ace of the New York Yankees, who jested that Rafael Devers o' the Boston Red Sox be his kryptonite! Aye, the stats do be tellin' the same tale, but on this fateful Saturday, Cole surprised all by raisin’ four fingers, givin’ Devers a free pass like a scallywag givin’ away treasure.

Well blow me down! The Red Sox unleashed a mighty storm upon Cole that very inning, sendin’ him to the locker room quicker than a ship in full sail! Brayan Bello, the Red Sox ship’s captain that day, claimed Cole showed weakness, while Devers, caught off guard, thought the future Hall of Famer be shakin’ in his boots!

Aye, even the Red Sox’s leader, Alex Cora, be thinkin’ Cole hit Devers on purpose out o’ fear! Cole had once ruled the seas, but that day, he became a shipwrecked sailor, hittin’ three batters and lettin’ runs pour in like grog at a pirates' feast. By the end, Devers delivered a stinging blow, knockin’ in two runs and sendin’ Cole to Davy Jones’ locker of regrets. A rough day indeed for our Yankee captain, who admitted, “’Twas the wrong move!” So ends our tale, with the Red Sox sailin’ towards victory! Yarrr!

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