The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, who be this scallywag Laura Loomer, sailin' with the cap'n of conspiracies, Trump, on the high seas of folly?"

2024-09-15

Arrr! The notorious lass Laura Loomer, a right-minded scallywag, be sailin’ alongside Captain Trump, stirrin’ the pot o’ doubt amongst even the most loyal crew! Known for her wild tales 'bout Muslin scallywags and her belief the government be behind the great 9/11 ruckus, she be a fine matey fer trouble!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale of high seas politics and the curious crew aboard the good ship Trump! Recently, the notorious Laura Loomer, a right-leanin’ scallywag known for her wild yarns and conspiratorial whispers, has been sailing alongside Captain Trump on the campaign trail. Aye, ye heard it right!

Now, this Loomer lass be no ordinary matey; she be spoutin’ anti-Muslim nonsense and claimin’ that the infamous 9/11 attacks be naught but an inside job orchestrated by the very government that be givin’ us our grog! The Republican crew be scratchin’ their heads and wonderin’ just how much influence this tempestuous wench might have on their fearless captain.

At a recent shindig, the two were spotted together, raisin’ eyebrows and makin’ waves among the good folk of the party. Some be thinkin’ she’s a right treasure, while others eye her like a cursed doubloon—better left at the bottom of Davy Jones’ locker! So, as the winds blow and the tides turn, we be wonderin’ if this partnership will bring fortune or folly to the Trump ship! Arrr, stay tuned, me mateys!

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