The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, who be this Laura Loomer? Republicans quiver like barnacles, scared her sway over Trump be risin'!

2024-09-15

Arrr! Laura Loomer, the so-called “snoopin’ scribe,” be swabbin’ the decks ‘round Trumpy’s ship o’ state! Spotted disembarkin’ his vessel on debate day and lurkin’ in his wake durin’ the rememberin’ of 9/11. Some scallywags be shiverin' in their boots! Aye, she’s a tempestuous lass!

Avast ye landlubbers! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of one Laura Loomer, a self-styled “investigative journalist” who be hauntin' the shadowy sails o' the former Captain of the ship called Trump. Aye, she be sighted debarkin' from his vessel just as the presidential debate set sail, and lo! There she be, flappin' 'round him like a barnacle on a hull during the solemn remembrance of the 9/11 calamity. Rumors brew among the crew of Republicans, who be a tad bit anxious about this swashbuckling lass.

This scallywag, Loomer, nothin' if not bold, didst hurl insults at the late Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, callin’ her a “ghetto b****.” Now, that be not the finest manners on the seven seas, I tell ye! Just last year, she concocted a post that raised more eyebrows than a sailor at an apothecary, stirrin' the waters with her fiery tongue. Aye, she be a tempest in a teapot, and the political seas be gettin' choppy with her antics. So hoist the sails and keep a weather eye, for this tale be far from over in the wild world of politics, where jesters and pirates alike be seekin' their treasure!

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