Arrr! Lawmakers and kin be squawkin' like parched seagulls, hearin' Trump be safe after a second stab at his treasure!
2024-09-15
Arrr! A hearty crew be chattin’ on the social seas, all a-twitterin’ ‘bout cannon fire near the green where Cap’n Trump was swingin’ his clubs on the morn of Sunday. Methinks he swung his club harder than a cannonball, savvy? Aye, what a ruckus on the links!
Avast ye landlubbers! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of peril and mirth from yon Trump International Golf Club, where the former captain of the White House, Donald Trump, found himself in the midst of gunfire! Aye, ‘twas not cannonballs, but the shattered sounds of an AK-47, fired by the keen-eyed Secret Service, who were but thwarting an assassin's dastardly scheme!As our jolly president swung his clubs upon the fifth hole, bullets rang out, and swift as a startled parrot, the guards whisked him away to safety, much to the relief of his kin and loyal mates. Trump’s own lad, Donald Jr., quipped, “Again, folks!”—a cheeky nod to a prior attempt on his father’s life.
Senator Lindsey Graham, bless his heart, reassured the masses that Trump remained as stout-hearted as a pirate after a rum barrel! Meanwhile, Rep. Anna Paulina pointed fingers at the "radical left," claiming their words be inciting mischief among the scallywags! The whole crew of lawmakers, from Chuck Schumer to Rep. Elise Stefanik, chimed in, bemoaning the rise of political violence like a ship lost at sea.
So hoist the sails and pray to Neptune that our former captain stays safe as he navigates these treacherous waters on the path to the next grand election, aye!