"Arrr, the scallywag Trump be sound, despite cannon fire nearby, claims his crew o' landlubbers!"
2024-09-15
Arrr, me hearties! The ol' swashbuckler Trump be sound o' body, ev'n after some ruckus with gunpowder pops near his ship! His crew be settin’ the tale straight, sayin’ all’s well in his treasure huntin’ ways! Avast, no cannonball can sink this captain!
Avast ye hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of peril on the greens! On a fateful Sunday, the notorious Donald Trump found himself in a spot o’ bother outside his grand golf club in West Palm Beach. A scallywag by the name of Ryan Wesley Routh, armed to the gills with a rifle and a GoPro for his dubious exploits, dared to threaten our man Trump, aim’n his wicked piece through a chain-link fence like a landlubber with a grudge!But lo! The valiant Secret Service crew, quicker than a swift wind, opened fire upon the rogue! The knave fled in a black Nissan, but not for long, as the authorities soon clapped him in irons. Meanwhile, Trump, perched atop the fifth hole, was whisked away to safety faster than ye can say “treasure map!”
With shots ringing out, the clubhouse turned into a veritable fortress! Trump's first words? A hearty assurance that he was unscathed, bragging about the Secret Service’s fine work. “Tell the crew I be fine!” he bellowed. The White House crew be breathing easy, too, as they kept a weather eye on the situation.
Ahoy, it seems this be the second near miss for the former captain of the ship of state in two moons! Keep yer wits about ye, for the seas of politics be treacherous indeed!