"Arrr! A scallywag took aim at a Trumpy golf course! Here be the tale of the knave they suspect!"
2024-09-16
Arrr, matey! A scallywag tried to off the cap’n Trump at his golfin’ haven in Palm Beach! They be sayin' the ruffian be Ryan Wesley Routh from Hawaii. The FBI be tight-lipped, but the bushes be holdin’ more than just leaves—mayhap a gun barrel or two! Yarr!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of high seas and low cunning! On a fine Sunday, at the grand golf course of one Donald Trump, a dastardly scallywag tried to send our Republican captain to Davy Jones’ locker! Aye, the villain be known as Ryan Wesley Routh, a 58-year-old scoundrel hailing from the far-off shores of Hawaii. Mind ye, the authorities be tight-lipped, like a clam at high tide, but the word be out on the wind!This knave, with a heart as black as the deepest ocean, thought he could sneak up on the Donald whilst he be swingin' his clubs! Can ye believe it? The Secret Service be snoopin' about, and what did they find? A gun barrel pokin' out from the bushes as if it were some cursed treasure! Arrr, ye can’t be hidin’ a cannon like that, ye landlubber!
Now, the FBI be playin' it close to the vest, but the likes of CNN, Fox News, and The New York Times be spillin’ the beans like a drunken sailor. So hoist the sails and keep a weather eye, for in this squall of politics, ye never know who might be makin’ a play for the captain’s crown!