The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Texas star Quinn Ewers be in a pickle, mayhap lettin' young Arch Manning take the helm! Har har!

2024-09-16

Arrr, matey! The Texas Longhorns' fearless lead, Quinn Ewers, be takin' a tumble with a belly ailment on Saturday! Cap'n Steve Sarkisian be sayin’ he’s “questionable” fer this week, like a ship lost at sea! Avast, let’s hope he be back to lead the charge!

Arrr, mateys! The Texas Longhorns be in a right pickle, as their star QB, Quinn Ewers, be lookin' more questionable than a landlubber in a sea battle! Head honcho Steve Sarkisian be wonderin' if he’ll have to hoist the sails with Arch Manning, the young sea dog, steerin' the ship for the first time. Ewers took a tumble in the second quarter against them UTSA scallywags, claimin’ a strained abdomen, a curious ailment fer a swashbuckler of his caliber!

When our fair Ewers returned, he was dressed like a buccaneer on shore leave, not one fit fer battle! He had thrown a fine 14-for-16, rackin' up 185 yards and two touchdowns before the injury sent him to Davy Jones' locker. It seems the lad felt a twinge when throwin' a long pass, but thought he could brave it like a true pirate—only to realize the pain was fiercer than a kraken!

Now, if Ewers be sidelined, young Arch had his moment in the sun, throwin’ four touchdowns and runnin’ like the wind for a 67-yard scamper! So, keep yer spyglasses trained, me hearties, for the Longhorns' fate be hangin' on the winds of fortune, and Arch might just be the hero of the day! Yarrr!

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