The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! A Brazilian matey candidate be laid low, smote by a metal throne! Avast, ye scallywags, witness the ruckus!"

2024-09-16

Arrr, in the fair city o' Sao Paulo, a scallywag runnin' fer mayor found himself in a right pickle! During a debate, his rival swung a fist, knockin' him to Davy Jones' locker—straight to the hospital! Missed the rest o' the parley, that landlubber did!

Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale o' political ruckus in the fair land o’ Sao Paulo, Brazil! A mayoral debate turned into a right ruckus on Sunday night when one scallywag named Pablo Marcal, a personal development influencer turned right-wing swashbuckler, took to the stage, slingin' words 'bout his foe, José Luiz Datena, a former TV presenter who sought to win the people’s favor.With a tongue sharper than a cutlass, Marcal called out Datena, sayin’ he ain’t man enough to slap him. But lo and behold! Datena, possessed by the spirit of a raging kraken, stormed the stage with a metal chair, crashin’ it into Marcal’s side like a cannonball into the hull of a ship!The debate moderator, akin to a scared parrot, quickly cut to commercials, leavin' Marcal to be whisked away to the hospital, breathin’ like a fish outta water with a busted rib! The poor lad claimed it was an “attempted homicide,” comparin’ it to bold attacks on notable figures like Trump and Bolsonaro. Meanwhile, Datena, feelin’ guiltier than a pirate who lost his treasure, admitted he’d do it all again if the winds were the same.So, there ye have it, mateys! A political fracas that’ll be talked ‘bout in taverns for ages, with investigations a’comin’ and legal seas to navigate! Landlubbers be warned, for politics be as wild as the high seas!

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