The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Never fired a cannon at the Trump ship, just played hide 'n seek fer 12 hours, savvy?"

2024-09-17

Arrr, matey! Ryan W. Routh be nabbed fer two federal gun misdeeds, right after the Secret Service blasted at him fer aim’n a rifle at the fairway where ol' Captain Trump was swingin’ his clubs. Aye, he be in quite a pickle, eh?

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a wild yarn from the high seas of modern mischief! Once upon a time, in a land o' strange contraptions and raucous politicians, a scallywag by the name of Ryan W. Routh found himself in quite the pickle. Aye, 'twas a day so fine that even the sun could be seen teasin' the waves, when our not-so-heroic hero decided to aim his trusty rifle at a golf course, where none other than Captain Trump's ship was docked for a round o' golf!

But lo and behold! The Secret Service, ferocious as a school of sharks, spotted this rogue behavior and let loose a hail of gunfire upon him, making their intentions as clear as the sea on a calm morn. 'Tis no way to treat a golfer, I say! And what did our dear Routh get for his folly? A hearty charge o' two federal gun crimes, served hot and fresh like a plate o' pirate stew!

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